Audorable (snookite) wrote,

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Last night I was with Lauwen Lauren and Colin, but the whole time i felt awful. I went to bed crying last night; I woke up and did the same thing. I took my pills and thought about someone who probably hasn't thought about me in 2 days, but hasn't been off my mind since january. Against my own rules, i called and left a message saying i was wondering if he was o.k, but i didn't expect he'd pick up in the first place. I got back into bed. I didn't plan on leaving that spot until monday morning. Of course, i couldn't sleep as usual, but under the covers i remained...
Until about 10:30am when my mom took me from my bed like a fragile plant plucked from the soil. She told me we were going to Meriden to get my iPod fixed and to visit Holly and my dad. I cried in the shower, did some laundry, and was force-fed eggs. We left: 45 minutes and 2 sudokus later we're at the mall. 30 minutes later: we left with my iPod in the hands of Best Buy's Geek Squad and a bag full of hair products in tow. I went to see my dad who I haven't seen since 3/27. It was hard to handle on top of all the stuff i'm going through right now. I saw holly, and we watched Big Daddy. I miss her so much that's it's almost painful when i see her, cause i know i'll just have to leave again. When my mom came to get me, Holly's mom told her that I do drugs, so i'm going to be in loads of trouble tomorrow.
I got home around 5:45pm and my mom left again to go back to Aldo's, where she always is. I called you-know-who again because i was about to go insane. We talked for a bit and i swear his voice saved me, the happiest i've been in days, and just as quickly as it started, it ended. Then, i was more upset than i have ever been. I cried, but this time i shook violently and fell to the floor, screaming louder than i knew possible. Now my throat is sore and my head is throbbing and my eyes are puffy.

Someone save me.
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